hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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