i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
