please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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