lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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