so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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