woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
