Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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