I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize