I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
