More tranny stories later!
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
