I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
