Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
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you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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