thus making me awesome and them whores
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
