Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
