i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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