i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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