I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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