apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
