sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
