too bad you live with your parents still
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
