i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
