she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
