some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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