Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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