No, you can still breathe under the balls.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
ttyl tear gas
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
