I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
