We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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