THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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