we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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