If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
