Dual....:-)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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