she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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