I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
