So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
