I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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