I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
