she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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