she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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