She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
