how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
