i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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