is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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