She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
