he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
