you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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