My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
