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Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
