saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
