yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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