Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
