I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Life is so much better after having sex.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I came so hard my ears popped.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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