Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
