Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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