Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
