even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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