It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
