Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
