cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
