I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize